stroger every day

I missed our Annual Convention last week, Beachbody Summit in Nashville.  I have been to every single one since I started coaching…but we were moving.  That isn’t an excuse.  Truth is, I knew AWHILE ago I wouldn’t be able to attend.

It is crazy to me that when you look back at your life there are dots that all connect.  And when I needed it most, I found Beachbody.  It saved ME.  From getting lost in Mommyhood.  From overeating myself into obesity, cause I was headed there.  From providing a bad example to my children.  From peacing out on my husband…not physically, but emotionally.  Moms and wives, you know how that can happen!  You get so caught up with your kids you forget about YOU.  AND HIM!

All I wanted to do is stay home with my kids.  The day I “retired” was the best ever!  I even took my oldest daughter out for a celebratory meal.  I think she was more excited than I was even.  That is how it should be!  But I immediately lost sight of what was important to me…working out, eating healthy and the right portions, RELATIONSHIPS, being social.  I found that ALL again when my first challenge group started a few months later.  And because of my amazing experience, the business evolved.  I was NEVER going to do “one of those things,” “those pyramid things.”  I quickly found out by just being me, and being excited about how I had changed, that it was COMPLETELY the opposite.

If you know me, you know I am a terrible salesman.  I would talk people out of crab cakes and into the cheaper fresh crab because I KNEW it was better.  I’d talk people into a less expensive wine because I knew they would enjoy it more.  It was never about the money to me, just the experience people had.  And that has helped me as a coach.  Because my job isn’t to sell the most expensive item, it is to make the BIGGEST impact on someone and help THEM succeed.  And if I give them the WRONG workout or meal plan, they will quit or give up.  I was encouraged to better myself instead of focusing on selling a product.  And in the mean time I found that I actually LIKED working on fixing my flaws.  Funny thing about those is that I have MILLIONS, so I have a long life of that ahead of me!  But, focusing on myself, physically, spiritually, emotionally, and mentally has made SUCH an impact on my life these last few years.

Most of you don’t know the story behind losing our restaurant.  And the details don’t matter.  What DOES matter is what we took away, how we changed, grew and moved on from the experience.  We can blame and point fingers, truth is, it wasn’t what God had planned for us and I am just thankful that we were able to recognize that before we got in too far over our heads.

Building something from scratch, with your own two hands, something your husband has decribed to you about for a decade, and has been dreaming about for longer is an incredible, indescribable experience.  The high we felt when we were finished, it was unbelievable.  And then the low when it all came crashing down.  Especially so soon after…like a piece of him, of us had died.  And the smartest thing we could do for our family was to walk.  To leave our investment behind, our hard work, our egos, our little restaurant baby and to cling to our family and just hold as tightly as we could.

I FIRMLY believe that God uses difficult situations to bring people closer together, to show them what they have to be grateful for and to make them stronger.

The first day I was in shock and kind of just relieved that the heart and headache was over.  But then on day two, reality set in.  Not only our savings, but our big paycheck was gone, the one that paid for rent, insurance, our cars, our bills.  So, we gave our notice, packed up our house and started looking for work for my husband.  Luckily God literally served him a job on a silver platter a week later, but the catch was we had to move…FAR.  And that it wouldn’t start for another few months.  My paychecks and family had to help keep us alive.  I kind of went numb and pretended noting was changing.  It wasn’t until about ten days before we moved that I realized I actually HAD to pack.  The moment I opened that first box, I felt the bitterness pounce.  I tried so hard to muffle it, but it kept growing.  I resented life, my husband, God, our old partners, and everything really.  We had to change our whole life around, like COMPLETELY.  Move out of our home, away from the area, away from my family, friends, the kids’ friends and schools.  I had to give up my fitness class that I had built from scratch, the only thing at that point getting me out of bed in the morning, since my husband could take care of the kids.  It forced me to smile, to show up no matter what and to keep pressing on.  I was devastated to walk away from that.

The thing is, there are choices in life, every moment, every day.  You can choose to live life to the fullest, or focus on the past, the life you could have had.  I did the only thing I knew what to do to keep me going, I hadn’t made a choice yet.  Each day I would get up and workout.  I taught 5 classes a week.  I showed up knowing someone else would be waiting for me.  I had taken a step back from coaching to help my husband with the restaurant and now I had all of this time to focus, but honestly, I was a little frozen.  I didn’t know what to do, what to say, what I had to offer to anyone else except for a sweaty class and a solid meal plan.  I wasn’t inspired by anything so how could I inspire someone else?  So I just stuck my head down and kept going.  Thank God the paychecks kept coming in…that SAVED us!  So I let myself unplug a little and I did everything I knew I was supposed to do to work on me.  I spent time with my family and friends, like GOOD QUALITY time, before we left town.  And right before it was time to leave, I was ready for that choice…I was ready to live in the moment and embrace our new life, the changes we were about to go through.  I was not only okay, I was excited.  I chose to keep going and never give up.  Because that is TRULY the only way to fail…to give up.

I found this excerpt from my journal the day after moving to the desert…
“As I was driving out to the Desert yesterday, alone, FINALLY able to actually listen to my own thoughts, I was OVERCOME with a sense of peace.  Like I was driving out of a closed chapter and into a new one.  Closure at it’s finest.  Sadness, of course, but no more tears, no regrets and no looking back.
It’s been a TOUGH couple of months, heck, SIX tough months.  But I was determined to get out of it alive and feeling like me.  And I have to say, I feel like ME more than I ever have!”

The best thing is that I was able to close up my laptop, pack it into my car and open it back up when I arrived.  And right there, my coaching business was sitting there waiting for me.  My current challengers, past, and future, all a few clicks away.  So many more woman to help get healthy, inspire, and change their lives!  Not because I am perfect, or even close!!!!  But because I will never give up.  On me, on them, on life.  And that is what success in life is REALLY about…NEVER GIVING UP!

We are starting to get settled in our new home, and I DIG IT!!!  Not because we live in a palace, not because it is 110 every day, lol, but because I am CHOOSING to be happy with my life, with what I DO have.  And I am DETERMINED to use the loss that we went thru to make me stronger, to make my marriage stronger, to show my children that no matter what, you don’t give up on your dreams, to always keep moving forward, and CHOOSE to be grateful every day for SOMETHING!  Even if all you can be thankful for is life, that ALONE is an INCREDIBLE blessing!

I feel like there is something BIG in our new home, town, WAITING for me to find it.  And if I don’t open my eyes and my heart, I will never see it.

Without this JOB, this coaching thing that I thought was “one of those pyramid things,” I’m not sure I’d be where I am, and it is scary to think of where I might be.  I DO KNOW that I WILL be at Summit again next year, with my ENTIRE team of WONDERFUL coaches, INCLUDING my husband, surrounding me, the people who make me a better me.  I am forever grateful to them and Beachbody and PROMISE to pay it forward as much as I can.